Someone recently, and it has happened way more than once, pointed out a spelling mistake. Hell, there will probably be one in this article that gets through the gates unnoticed. I’d like to claim some kind of intelligent reason for this, that I was purposely weaving in mistakes like Native American art, but no; I just fucked up and didn’t notice.
I was recently talking to a friend about how I really enjoyed writing, but every time I hit publish I want to puke. I often think things like, “Why would anyone care what I have to say?” “Isn’t the world already drowning in opinions and bullshit?”
I’ve mentioned this before, but part of the reason I am able to even publish anything is that I hit publish when I have that small window of courage to post something, when I still feel fresh off inspiration. I’ve described blogging as an outward looking journal. It’s a place to document the feelings of the moment. It’s a way to lead people towards more permanent forms of expression, not a substitute for them. It’s a way to make people think. It’s a starting point, not an final destination.
That doesn’t mean that it is alright to get things wrong. There is no excuse for purposely misleading people. I’m quite happy when someone points out a mistake. I want to get things right. I want people to get something out of what I write, but I also want to learn from those that read things here. I think blogging, at its best, is a two way conversation. It’s a way to communicate with people that don’t live down the street from you.
I also think that half of life is just getting the courage to walk through a door. There are not only many people that can write better than I can, but also many more that could, but don’t. One can only get better at something by doing. For years I didn’t write because I thought, “Why me?” Another question could be, “Why not you?”
On the internet, as in life, opinions are like assholes. Everybody has one. But how many people try to express themselves in a thorough way, where they are actually accountable for what they say? Blogging often gets shitted on, and there can be good reason for it. So many times they are of no value. But then so much of our culture is meaningless bullshit. How many businesses are trying to sell you things you don’t need for prices you can’t pay? On the other hand anything can have worth if the doing is taken seriously. One can judge something on the effort put into it and the results. The medium doesn’t really matter all that much. This is one of the mediums of the moment for expression.
All you can do is try your best, hold yourself accountable, and hope that others do as well. Walk though that door and hope you don’t get your ass handed to you, but don’t be surprised when you do. But if you don’t do something, someone else will. If you think you can bring your best to something, it might as well be you. I guarantee for every mistake someone catches, I can find more. I am chasing perfection, well aware that it can never be reached.
I don’t like inspiring claptrap and feel good nonsense. Writing, like life, is complex and messy. One can find themselves heading out for new lands with the best intentions and still end up being blown back, crushed upon the shore. But expressing ourselves is the only thing that separates us from animals. That and building fast food restaurants where there used to be a beautiful tree. I know which I’d rather attempt to do. We are here, this is now, and this is how it feels. Sooner or later that will no longer be the case. Try and fail, try and fail, but try…