This passage was written by Irish writer Brendan Behan and it is from the book Borstal Boy. A borstal is a reform school for underage prisoners as an alternative to prison. Walton is a jail in Liverpool that Behan was in before being moved to his reform school. He was imprisoned for being caught in Liverpool with bombs as an I.R.A. member. Because he would not renounce the I.R.A. he was excommunicated from the Catholic Church. However, while at reform school he was allowed to serve Mass because he could read Latin, despite not being able to receive the Sacraments. This passage is his reflection on religion right before he is about to serve Mass:
But I wasn’t bitter. When I am in good humor, I could not be bitter about anything. It was different in Liverpool, where the priest was an active enemy. Here the priest had nothing to do with me, and I nearly lost interest in Sacraments, and whether I was deprived of them or not. Walton scalded my heart with regard to my religion, but it also lightened it. My sins had fallen from me, because I had almost forgotten that there were such things and, when I got over it, my expulsion from religion, it was like being pushed outside a prison and told not to come back. If I was willing to serve Mass, it was in memory of my ancestors standing around a rock, in a lonely glen, for fear of the landlords and their yeomen, or sneaking through a back – lane in Dublin, and giving the password, to hear Mass in a slum public house, when a priest’s head was worth five pounds and an Irish Catholic had no existence in law.
There were few Catholics in this part of the world and the priest had a forlorn sort of a job but Walton had cured me of any idea that religion of any description had anything to do with mercy or pity or love.
English Catholics had no time for the Irish, except when they were begging from them. They had no use for Paddy the navvy and Biddy the scivvy, beyond taking their money when a new church was being built. The aristocratic old English Catholics had some kind of double dealt immunity from the penal laws, and the conversions only started when the Irish got the Emancipation and it became legal and safe to be a Catholic, and a lot of English shopkeepers’ sons gave up Methodist and became Catholics because the more romantic minded of them thought it brought them into contact with the great world of Italy and France, which was atheist or Catholic, but always lively.
One of the fascinating things about Behan, from reading this book, is how open minded he is. Even at a young age he is able to see the difference between the British Empire as a system and the English people, as many of his friends in prison and reform school are English. He was able to have a disdain for religion but feel for a priest with a forlorn job. He could be against a system, but treat people within that system as individuals. He had a great mind. I now understand why so many writers and songwriters remember him fondly.